Christmas Round-Up

I had a great Christmas. Among other things I got an XBOX, which is pretty cool in my opinion. I have been playing The Third Age and Halo 2. I own The Third Age, so I am pretty far. Right now I am defending Osgiliath with Faramir's measly help. I want to try Fable next, since I've heard good things about it.

Also has anyone read Dune, or seen the movie? It is pretty wierd, but kind of hynotic also.

I haven't watched much tv, except Fear Factor or Just Shoot Me late at night. That is what happens when all I do is play a console.

Christmas Time is Buzzing in my Skull

I drove the long drive yesterday. In doing so I discovered the secret to staying up beyond your natural ability - caffeine. Unfortunately I drank too much and had to stop a whole bunch to use the bathroom, which coincidently keeps you awake also.

I have no other news, except that I saw Lemony Snicket's movie, which didn't really have much of Mr. Snicket in it. It was a decent flick, I wish it had a few more lizards and unfortunate events in it. I thought Jim Carrey was funny, and it didn't look like Harry Potter, or Shrek. I liked it. It was good, clean fun.

I drink water for free at work.

The Real Reality Show

Last night I watched like 4 hours of the tube. First I watched the LOST, which was pretty good, but I wish it was just a movie so that I could learn what is going on faster instead of in ten years when the show ends. Also I watched "The Real Gilligan's Island", it was of course addicting crap tv of the highest degree. I wanted Ginger Rachel to stay on the show but she got voted off because of her ravishing former marriage to Rod Stewart and because for a model she showed surprising cunning in the intricacies of the game. Now I hope the Skipper Jim wins because he has a beard and doesn't look like a model or anyone on tv these days.

Since this a undercover blog I have to go, although oftimes my boss thinks I'm checking my email with this page.

The Latest Antics of LOTR fans

So I just got back from Wal-Mart like 5 hours ago where it was impossible to buy a copy of The Return of the King The Extended Edition (TROTKTEE). Fortunately I had my people buy one for me last night at the earliest possible convience. Hence, I watched all four hours of it tonite before coming here to work, and blog. Of course, like the others it was awesome, especially the added scenes with Gilbert Grape, and the Fogler. The best is when Fogler tells Aragorn to try the New Southwestern Philly Mc Cheesy Chicken Club Slub Special with only four grams of orc blood in it and Aragorn turns slowly to the Fogler and tells him that his sandwich was ruined by the Witch King. Wait, wait this is the best part. Fogler stands up and whips something quickly out from under his "Sandwich Artist" green shirt and says, "IT HAS BEEN REMADE!" and Aragorn smiles.

I am glad that they added some new scenes, I'm also glad that they didn't add anything to the ending which took too long as it was anyway.

New Christmas Ornaments

I wish someone would get me a Christmas ornament with a Christmas Sagat. Or a Christmas Spider - whatever that is.

So this weekend I made a couple of guys pass out either because of my rugged good looks or because of the needle I was sticking in their arm. It was embarrassing.

I watched Spiderman 2, which is a good flick.

I'm tired.

Mirth of the Blox

Currently, I am at work. My boss is here and so this is a covert blog, and will be, necessarily, put into morse code. ...---... Doesn't that mean SOS?

It's snowing here, and there are miles to go before I sleep.

Also, I watched a top notch crappy movie on Saturday morning called Final Destination. It was obviously made for someone who has difficulty grasping the concept of foreshadowing, because there was so much of it that I could turn the channel and watch a complete episode of Fear Factor and still follow the story. The only cool part of the movie was the airplane crash scene, or premonition of the the crash vision, or forescene. If any of you have the chance to watch it, I wouldn't choose to watch it over anything else, except a Lifetime movie possibly.

Well, got to go, or I'll get the boot, or to lick the boots.

Forgotten Christmas Hero

Like so many "Forgotten" things at Christmas, i.e. "Carols", Santa's personal assistant, helper, and jester - The Christmas Monkey has long been left off the traditional celebration fare. This was not always the case. In the fifth century A.D. the Christmas Monkey's role as Santa's premier helper, engineer, and political advisor was celebrated the world over. As with most celebrations of the time this was done with song, and booze. In fact our modern carol "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" was original titled "We Wish You a Merry, Christmas Monkey!". Later on there was a botched crusade to the inner Congo to take back the primative ritualistic worship site of the Christmas Monkey. Of course, in our fast-paced, rig-a-ma-role world of commercial Christmas, the Christmas Monkey's memory has been suppressed by those same villians who put a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence, and wrote the DaVinci Code. It is up to us "bloxxers" to remember now. So have a Merry Christmas, Monkey!!

More of my life belongs on TNT

Last night I was driving home, and as the snow started to fall faster I began my slow turn onto the street my house is on. As I turned the wheel I noticed that the car was not turning proportionately; instead it was sliding down the hill. So, I slide down the hill and decided to try it again. So I wound round the block and started my turn again, this time with a better angle on it. Unfortunately, this time when I lost control I was pointed into the bushes infront of someone's yard, and unfortunately I went right into them, over the curb and all. Fortunately, it didn't damage much of anything, but it did take a half hour of pushing and lifting to get the car out onto the road, where it again slide partly down the hill.

By that time I was done with it, so we called for some chains, which helped.

Has anyone noticed who hates bloxxing? I have.
Have you?
I have.
Have you?
I have.
Have you?

Stuck in the Snow

Last night our balled front tire got us stuck on the hill leading to our house, so we parked it there for a while and walked home. We got about 7 inches of snow yesterday and they didn't plow until there were at least 4-5 on the road. Afterwards we walked around the town in the snow, made snow angels, ate a pizza, drank hot chocolate, decorated the christmas tree, discovered a 300 hundred year old skeleton, put up the christmas lights, and talked to reticent sales person about an XboX. Overall it was a pretty eventful night, and I slept well with the holiday glow coming in through the windows from my one strand of lights haphazardly put up on our deck.

In other news, the old Law and Order's with Ben Stone as the D.A. are more enjoyable to watch because I haven't seen them so many times before, in fact there are some that I haven't seen before. In still other news, my oldest nephew is beginning to sound a lot like Dexter when he talks.

New Opinion of Halo 2

Now that I have played Halo 2 for several hours at a time I can say definitely that I like this game for the XBoX. It details the struggle of the human species to survive against the superior technology of the aliens and their blind faith religious cultism that they would impose on freedom loving earthlings. In this way Halo 2 is really analogous, and applicable to our own lives, and should be viewed as such. In life we are often confronted by aliens who would enslave, or probe us, but, as in Halo 2, we should not yield so easily to their sweetly-hummed siren song. NO, we must resist the aliens, and declare our freedom and the freedom of the dog lords who rightly rule over us. Hence, by playing Halo 2 for many hours a simple-minded, short-sighted human can become "virtually" entangled in the affairs of a make believe universe, while in real life doing nothing more than sitting on the floor, thus Halo 2 is the ultimate mental workout.

Recently in the "Alternative" press there have been some grumblings about Halo 2. Two points in particular were attacked. Holding two weapons at a time, and the use of vehicles in vanquishing the aliens incumbents. The "grumbled" point is valid. There should not be any "hoopla" at all over these two "innovations" (if they can be called that). On the otherhand, the hand that controls the direction of movement that is, I'm not sure these "innovations" have existed on a console game before. I'm no expert, but I spared no expense. On the third hand, the hand of a Nala fugitive that is, holding two weapons is very fun, although it limits the player's ability to throw grenades which is crucial in essential moments of combat. On the fourth hand, Goro's fourth hand that is, the one that killed Johnny Cage, driving a vehicle in Halo 2 is very fun. This is one of the funnest parts of the game, especially a Scorpion Tank. " and I must be honest here, I love driving it. It is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up."

Ready To Work

Due to recent boredom I have downloaded several old DOS games. Unfortunately I have been unable to get them to play with sound or music. I can't seem to get them to jive with the sound system I have. It is pretty frustrating, because PC speaker mode won't even work. I downloaded both Warcrafts, ROTT, and Cannon Fodder, and something else but I can't remember what it was. I might try DOOM, or Heretic tonite.

Also, Fear Factor is a good show. I tryed America's Top Model, but it was too slow, or maybe it was the people that were slow. I even saw the Japanese commercial but I decided I'd rather watch Futurama.

Eggnog is as Eggnog does

I'm drinking eggnog right now. I put some Sprite in it, because I obey my thirst. It's not a bad combo.

Does anyone have a copy of the Simpsons episode where they are in a box car with the bum telling them stories? The story of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer is great.

I watched LOST , it was kind of boring in my opinion. I guess it is the middle of the season, and they all can't be great.

Also I downloaded ROTT and played it, and remembered the gore of eyeballs shooting past you after you blow someone up. Anyway.

Caution: Renting an XBox Could Incapacitate

I accidently rented an XBox and a couple of games and it turned me into a robot. You know, the kind of robot that wakes up early to play an RPG after staying up late. So I rented LOTR: The Third Age. It was pretty fun. It is a turned based RPG, which historically I have made fun of, and this one was no different, except that I was already interested in the world. Call me a nerd, but not to my face.

Unfortunately, I haven't done anything else since Friday night except work occasionally everyday. Happily, I beat the balrog, and am outside Moria.

spicerack.girl

Does anyone remember the Spice Girls? I remember them, but they don't remember me.

I went grocery shopping today and surprisingly I bought no cheese. I guess that means that I won't eat very well this week, or it means I already have enough. I've decided that Sharp Cheddar Cheese is best, and then Swiss cheese.

So, I've been playing video games lately. Last week I remembered the good old days of BBS's and darkforce; I also remembered that there was some old shareware that might even run on this computer. Well the story goes that I got a couple of them. One named Conquest, and the other named the General. Basically they are Risk and Stratego. I couldn't find Jetpack, and I forgot to look for Blake Stone. Anyway, I've played those two games alot, too much. It seems that I am addicted to any video game, no matter how lame it is.

A Story

Once upon a time there were two adventurers wheeling and dealing for supplies in the dusty frontier town of Lut Gholein. In all the hustle and bustle it just so happened that both the adventurers dropped a large amount of gold on the sidewalk. It all the mayhem the gold disappeared, and has never been found. Until now on the back of the Declaration of Independence and in the middle of a famously craptacular movie. Actually the story goes that one adventurer remained destitute for a long period of time, while the other seemed not to worry about the "LOST" money. So where's the money?

Smear Campaign against frumix

It has been brought to my attention that I do not have the drivers for my printer. More importantly there have been those lately who have questioned my devotion to the email checking. Let me just say: "Check your email"

In my attempt to hook up the printer, and get a rebate for my modem I found that I do not have Adob Acrobat@ (I don't have the trademark symbol). So I downloaded it, but I also got a piggybacked version of Photoshop Album which upon inspection by me, was found to an incredibly handy program for handling all of my bad pictures (which are numerous). It is so easy to use, and the little paperclip at the bottom was so nice and friendly.

I tried to watch Lost last night at work, but I couldn't remember what channel it was on and since I was convinced it was on NBC I didn't even check the other networks until The West Wing came on at 8:00 and I knew I was hosed.

Election Night Counting Frustration

All I have to say about the election is that some states are really slow at counting. I think that maybe to help with the next election we should spend some federal dollars on counting programs in the public schools to help people count faster. I just don't understand why it takes people in New Hampshire so long to count, I guess they're just special, and they want a pudding cup.

In other news: I have been told that I am a dead beat blogger and email checker. But let the record show that I blog at least 4 per week, and check my email at that same rate. Also I would like to present Peoples 34 : "The whale is a mammiferous animal without hind feet." Baron Cuvier. Has anyone eaten whale? I can't say that I have, but I sure want to see one up close, and possibly swim with it, or harpoon it. Or maybe just hold a harpoon, or be cool enough to be someone who gets to use something cool enough to be called a harpoon.

"If you make the least bit of noise," replied Samuel "I will send you to hell."

At one point in my life I thought it would be cool to be called a warlord.

Corn Maze Scare Tactics

Tonite I went to a Haunted Corn Maze. I was excited, because I was thinking that it was one of those places that they say is really haunted, but I soon found out that what they meant by "Haunted" was that it was filled with high schoolers. It was still fun though. It was real muddy, cause its been raining for the last couple of days, so people (high schoolers) were falling all over the place. I guess it wasn't only high schoolers. When we were just getting started this family of like 8 came tromping through the corn. They seemed to be pretty frustrated, and bitter. Since we had been slipping a little bit we asked how it was up further. The mother answered and said, "It only gets worse, I've fallen twice!" in a voice that implied a disbelief that someone of her calliber would fall in the mud. Thinking back on the situation, I realize now that this family wasn't so concerned about the mud as their failure in the maze. I should have said, "HAHA You're just mad cause you can't find your way! You suck! LOSERS!"

They probably went and got mad at the kiddies who were running the joint and got their money back. It's not like you didn't know was muddy when you went in.

Fortunately, we made it through without falling once, and towards the end we just followed the kiddies around and got out. Then I told them, "Muddy people suck too, like corn!"

I said profanity today. Loud.

I walked to work tonight from Borders where I dropped off the car for my wife. I enjoy the walk because I can put on my headphones and just zone on some Tom Petty. Tonite was a nice night for a walk. It was about 10:45 and I could see the snow-covered mountains clearly even under the overcast. Anyway, so I'm walking listening to Petty, and all of a sudden as a walk past bushes I feel, what I think to be paws push on my arm. At the same time I heard through the music what I took to be a bark, or growl. I jumped, and sprang forward a couple of quick steps and turned around, thinking I would be face to face with a large dog. It wasn't a dog at all, it was a stupid punk kid (probably middle school), dressed all in black with a Scream mask on. I was still tense and on edge from being startled, and he started laughing. I don't really know what came over me, but I looked right at the kid with my eyes still wide and pointed my finger at him, then in a very firm loud voice I said, "F*$^ YOU, DUDE!". While I was saying this I became aware that my face felt funny, like I was making a wierd expression. It felt like my chin was tightly flexed; afterwards all I could think of was Harrison Ford when he has something serious and urgent to say. Well anyay, the kid didn't respond, and I kind of came to my senses and shook my head and said, "S*&%, Man!". The kid bolted at that, and I stared for a minute, still dazed, before I turned and finished my walk to work.

There is no other news.

Drinking a Coors ... NA That Is

So here I am at 10:45 PM listening to Paul's Boutique, drinking a Coors, doing my wife's homework, and feeling good. Riding high. Walking tall, what else can I say. I guess this was just one of those moments when I realized that life is good. The Red Sox won the World Series, which I glad of, even though they beat St. Louis. Auburn is number 3 in the nation right now. I have good job that I like. I make enough money to be able to afford Coors every once in a while, or Sangria, or Kool-Aid. I have a new car, and I even own about $1000 of it. I have the internet, and cable TV with the little tv guidy thing.

Well, like the Beastie's said, "Looked out the window, seen his bald head, ran to frig and pulled out an egg."

La Isla Bonita

The word on the street is that the eighties are back. At least that's what Guy Spangler told me on his "music program" last night around 3 AM. His "program" ended with an offer to sell me several CD's filled with classic eighties hits. It was tempting, but then I remembered that I wouldn't have to worry about buying another CD in my life if it hadn't been for those nasty record execs that shutdown Napster. Obviously I got angry and turned off the TV and swore off the eighties and their hair bands.

I decided that having money is not nearly as fun as having stuff, so I've decided to spend every last cent I have on some sort of souvenir, novelty, or party trick. Or fake dog poop.

This isn't the Howard Johnson.

The Cat in the Boy Suit

I don't want to be a ruiner, but I have some things to say about the Grudge. I agree with the Smeagol when she said it was a bunch of the conventions in The Ring that were scary except there were a lot more of them. I think you see the decomposed crawling girl too many times to be real scared at the end. It is another story with the cat boy. I liked his character because it was the embodiment of the simple cat from outer space and the more complex issued cat from La Mancha.

Anyway.

Poem of the Night

There is a fear
In the curtains
It scratches the walls
At night, and creaks
Towards your bed
Softly tapping, ... softly.

He is nothing corporeal
And will not bring
You to great harm
If you keep on sleeping.

If you toss, if you turn
He will poke with
Needle long and dull.
Then you will wake
With bruises red,
With deep scarlet
On your sheets.

You will wake
And you'll be dead
For an instant
When you hear
Him coming ... back

18 Sept

Those Borders Goons

Caution: This blog my contain material that will be offensive to those who like big bookstores, coffee, "intellectualism" without regard to the physical aspect of life, and those who want to be those type of people. Also this blog relies heavily on unfair stereotypes, so please accept my apology to those who think they are excluded.

So I went waltzing into the local Borders today and got a whole bunch of weird looks from all the "intellectual" soft handed nay-sayers that dress up and go out to eat at the Cafe. These thirty-something females with their up-wards of sixty year old men friends must have thought that I looked funny in my running clothes with my face red still from my run. I guess I should have walked in with a Bowfles shirt on, or with liatards from my Pilates.

I would be more angry if Borders didn't pay my rent each month, but these type places are such a haven for the fakers.

Anyway, you get the picture. I decided against writing more. Suffice it to say that from now on I will wear the poorest, most unhip clothes to said store in hopes of unnerving the bloomers, and causing them to think that their haven is under attack by the proletariat.

Shopping Cart

Cottage Cheese $2.00
Ricotta Cheese $2.69
Medium Cheddar Cheese (2 lbs) $6.49
Parmesan Cheese $2.57
Mozerella Cheese $3.17

Having all the cheese for lasagna and some sandwiches $16.92

Getting to buy five types of cheese in one trip to the grocery store

Priceless

Recent needle punctures

So this weekend I got to give a bunch a shots. It was nerve-racking because as a former resipient of shots I know how much they can hurt. Now I was the one putting the hurt on someone else and I just felt kind of bad. Then I had to get a shot and didn't feel bad for anyone.

I hung some pictures in my house today, and made french toast for breakfast. It was good. I put actual vermontian syrup on one, and lemon yogurt on the other three.

Has anyone heard of Tomcats Screaming Outside?

I have to work tomorrow.

Historic 51st Post

Obviously this is a day of great celebration at my home. It is not everyday that one gets to post his 51st Blog. So without further adieu here it is:

Yesterday I played Battleship for the first time in a long time and it was pretty fun; I also played Jenga, Chess, and Hearts. It was quite the fun time at work.

I also decided that I will no longer support Travelocity.com. I called their customer support line to ask about a credit transfer on some tickets. It was obvious from the start that the customer service rep that was helping me was not a native english speaker. I thought, "Well that is ok." When I was transferred to another rep I thought, "This might go better." I quickly realized that both of the reps had english as a second language, and though they might be quite adept at helping people from their native country they could scarce understand me. This lead to me becoming frustrated and vowing a boycott on their services, because of their greedy outsourcing. Also it pissed me off because they suck at helping me. I would invite all who read this to join my global fight against the outsourcers.

Well, I also realized that I don't really have Halloween weekend off, I forgot that I took a couple of shifts for a guy.

Aw Nuts

In Other News

I ate some pizza this evening for dinner, because it seemed to be the popular thing to do, and I always do whatever is popular.

I had an exciting day at work today. I got to put someone in a time from which they could not escape, which was the whole point. It was quite a rush. I also got to make coffee, change newly dirty sheets and clothes, and watch someone cry. It was exhausting.

Later in the day I got to watch Law and Order. The one where Jack's old assistant is found to have manipulated some evidence so she could help Jack get a promotion. Also in the episode the viewer finds out that Jack is sleeping with Claire. The viewer also realizes that he has seen this same episode several times, and while it is not so bad to watch Simpsons over and over, Law and Order for the third or fourth time is not as good, like a piece of home-made bread that sat out after being cut.

That reminds me that home-made bread is very good especially right out of the oven with some butter.

New Evidence in GO-GURT Conspiracy

I know this is all over the news, but today on the cover of the Wall Street Journal the headline read, "Go-Gurt All the Rage". In my mind this is the greatest tragedy of the year. I read another, supposedly unrelated article on B12 titled "President Names Spork National Utensil". The connection was clear enough to me. The maniacal Spork Lobby has finally succeeded in their quest to do away with the spoon. Last week unknown to most of the world, the Spork Lobby pushed a bill through Congress that put Go-Gurt on to the presidents plate for the first time. It was expected that it would take several months for the president to agree with Go-Gurt and 'Lose the Spoon'. It seems that his reaction has been quicker than anticipated as he quickly passed Resolution 90-9URT which made it illegal for a spoon to be used in the Oval Office, the US Senate, and the hotdog stands surrounding the Washington Monument.

No one here in this office quite knows what to make of these developments, but the history books will record them as the most lasting contribution of this administration.

In the morning

I am going to eat with my sister in the morning. I think I will have a ham and cheese omelet. If I am lucky it will be full of fake ingredients and fat, but it will taste really good. I've decided that it is no use to fight against "low-carb" diets. Dr. Atkins wins.

Otherwise, I worked a double shift last night, and I'm not tired because I slept until 1 PM today. I think I'll try playing a video game to pass the time.

Possibly this week I will start buying components for my new computer which I will name "Brother Numsee".

Internet is expensive

I guess I never realized that the internet was expensive while I was spliting the bill with 7 other guys. Now that I have to pay for it on my measly wages it seems that it is quite costly. On the other hand I can not think of anything more fun than playing a good game of Diablo 2 online, so I guess that it is worth it.

SOOO, I now have a couch to sit on, and I cleaned the kitchen today so at least one room in the house is completely unpacked. Also I get to play with a pen tab, which is kind of fun, except that it doesn't have any fun games only fun MS Access which is so fun to learn how to use.

No real news from work. I do really like my job most days. I don't have much to say. I watched 7 episodes of Band of Brothers in three days, and The Two Towers. I'm still trying to figure out how my oh so innocent and naive little sister got tapes of Band of Brothers before me. If anyone has information concerning this it would be much appreciated.

Too Many Letters

Recently I have been investigating the purchase of new computer, and I have been astounded by all of the acronyms I need to know, and don't. Also I don't really know anything about sockets, or even what they are. I feel bad always asking silly questions. I actually thought I knew something about these machines until I looked at a spec page for one.

Also I cleaned my room today.

Scathing Commentary on Video Games

Actually this a "Scathing Commentary" on Those Who Don't Like Video Games.

So let's get down to brass tacks and cut the crap and discover what you people have against video games. You are probably the very people sitting in front of your TV agreeing with Dan Rather, Serena Williams and Joe Leiberman that video game violence is the cause of world poverty. You are also the same people watching Star Trek: TNG, or any syndicated show for that matter and saying that the hour you just spent with those fools is in some way different than, or better than an equal amount of time I would spend waging war against the Corrupted Rogues in the Black Marshes. So what is your rationale? Education.

Let me see if this figures. You say that your movie is educational, you say that your show is educational. All I am hearing is "Edumication, Edumication. Won't somebody think about the children!!" So here's what I have to say about that. Anyone who watches a movie to be educated, is not educated. Movies and tv programming are for entertainment purposes only, just like palm reading, and psychic phone calls, and pictionary. So then you say what about the History channel. I say, "how many people watch that because of what is on it. Don't you really watch it because there is nothing else on?" Anyway, all I'm saying is that video games are at the base motivation identical to movies, and tv.

Now I have to say something else: Video games are more educational than movies, or tv, and if played on a network produce more bonding than watching a movie together. How about a few examples:
1. The Rocket Launcher on Quake III: Hand-Eye Coordination
2. Resource Management: Starcraft, Warcraft, Empire Earth
3. Space Allocation: Diablo II
4. What Not Worship: Doom II, III
5. Benefit Maximizing: Diablo II weapons and armor
6. Attack Coordination: LAN Starcraft

I'm sure there are more, but those are just a few glaring examples. In conclusion I would like to say that I like video games.

FINE PRINT:
This view in no way disparages movies, or would suggest that I don't like them anymore.

The end of the spyware matrix

It was recently made known to me by a here un-name-able source that I am the ONE. The one who is supposed to free the humans from the spyware matrix that we are "plugged i"n"to. That is quite a responsibility and I am having trouble juggling my job and a new apartment along with this new responsibility. I don't think I'll be able to complete t"HE quest, I mean mission". So if anyone wants to be tHE oNE" let me know, cause I could give the Idiot's Guide for a fraction of the price I paid for it at one of those corporate jobbies.

Also, I am still moving in. I have trouble unpacking because I always put on a movie as background noise, but then I start watching it. I don't know where to put all of my stuff neither. Well, I've got to get back. San Dimas High School Football Rules!

Cause she's the cheese, and I'm

I haven't blogged in about a week and I don't really have an excuse. I woke up this morning giddy because I get to move into our new apartment today. It will be a grand adventure.

Other than that, there is nothing really going on. I watched The Cell which is pretty messed up. I watched The Lord of the Rings the animated adventure which was interesting.

Does anyone remember a couple of years ago when it was chic to blame things on El Nino? Well I feel like it would be a good time to start another such trend so we can all feel a little better about ourselves by blaming our problems on another inanimate object. Perhaps this is a trend that is already developing, but I thought it would be easy to blame my problems on spyware. It is an easy thing to do, watch. When I died playing Dungeon Siege yesterday I simply swore at the spyware that obviously affected my performance. "@#$%ing SPYWARE!! You made me die!", and then I added (correctly) "Piece of @#$% SPYWARE! You made me forget to quick save my game! @#$%#$% %@#$%@#!!, Now I have to do it all over again!! @#$@#%@". It made me feel better to know that it wasn't actually my fault, but some neblous power exerting its evil influence on to my recreation time. So if you have problems that you don't want to soil your good name, try spyware I promise you'll feel right as rain.

Me Spoons!

Well, I'm finally living the American Dream - I'm getting me some land. Next monday is move-in day, and though I'll just be renting an apartment it feels like I just staked a claim on the dusty prarie and then died, and then came back to life.

So, that's right I'll be moving in on monday evening. It shouldn't take very long because although my financial advise is sound it didn't resolve with me owning very much of anything, furniture wise anyway, or major purchase wise. I don't have a TV, a couch, a washer, a coffee table, a table, a chair, dishes (until recently all I had were some oversized bowls), a bed, but I do have a lamp, which was a gift. I suppose that all this stuff will come eventually and that I shouldn't worry.

That's about all the news, except to say that I was triumphant at Risk over the weekend, but was beaten soundly in a protracted contest in Warcraft III. It was a good fight, but I lost because as much as the elves are cool, my strategy has always been mass production of cheap units such as Zerglings, and the occasional Hydrolisk. With that, my life for ire.

A Vege-Mite Sandwich

So, nothing really happened today. There have been rumors about Rob Schneider passed around the water cooler. I want to clear this up right now. I don't know who Rob is, and I don't take kindly to strangers.

That said, I reread a story I wrote several years ago, about some animals who talked and did everything just like people except they were animals. Strange I guess.

I got some free food at work today. They feed us at 12:30 AM. We got hawaiian chicken and a fruit and veggie platter to pick from. And all the Barq's I could want. It was advertised as a Patio Luau, but there were no hula dancers or hawaiian shirts or anything.

The Gmork

www.gmork.com If anyone has any clue what this website does please tell me.

Also it appears that BYU has come out in support of X-Box not PS2, and for that matter videogames in general. This is big news because now it appears that videogames are a valid thing to do.

Fall Fest
Wilkinson Student Center
Fall Fest is a fun activity for all BYU students that includes live bands, a top 40's dance, acountry/swing dance, laser tag, X box, standup comedy, club performances, inflatables, and free food.
From http://home.byu.edu/webapp/home/index.jsp

What the far reaching effects of this endorsement will be even the wisest can not tell. But it is readily apparent that apologies should soon be forthcoming for confiscated controllers.

The Witching Hour

It is hard to think of something to say at this time of night, when all of the crazy people should be in bed. So what I'm about to say has had very little thought put into it.

First. For all those who still rag on Fast and the Furious you should know two fackts. 1. This movie united critics on www.imdb.com. 2. It's much better than Riddick, and The Little Mermaid put together.

Second. I went kayaking again today, and it is harder than it looks to do one of those roll over things. Actually I was never able to do one on purpose.

Third. I went camping over the weekend and it was fun. I saw two beavers swimming.

Fourth. I called my brother today and I want to visit him and the minka-ma.

Fifth. I am reading the Lord of the Rings and it is still good.

Sixth. I signed a contract for an apartment, therefore soon I will play video games.

Seventh. I listened Tom Petty and it reminded me of a cool summer night.

Eighth. There have been some cool movie scenes involving guns and night clubs. The opening scene to the Replacement Killers is one, and the club scene in Collateral is just as good.

Ninth. China is here.

Tenth. I wish I had a dog.... or two.

Casting Call

So in my sleep deprived state I was thinking about who would play me and the rest of my family in a movie called, ___________. Possibly Hobo Town Blues

Dad: Jeff Goldblum
Mom: Diane Keaton

Me: Luke Wilson
My Wife: Kiera Knightley

My Brother: Adam Sandler
My Sister-in-Law: Drew Barrymore
Their twins: The Olsens, obviously

My Sister: Lucy Lawless, obviously or maybe Neve Campbell
Her Husband: Vince Vaughn
Their Son: Baby

My Youngest Sister: Christina Ricci

My Brother-in-Law: Sam Rockwell (Guy)
My Sister-in-Law: Kate Hudson
My Nephew: Baby 2

My Brother-in-Law: Matthew Perry
My Sister-in-Law:

My Brother-in-Law: Karl Urban (Eomer)

My Father-in-Law: Jeff Bridges
My Mother-in-Law: Connie Nielson (Gladiator)

PS--Be outraged!!

If anybody need me...

There is nothing to do at work right now. So I sit here a remember things about my life and wonder if they are worth typing out, or if they are worth it to anyone (myself included) to read.

Then I remembered about the on-going debate between swim coaches at SouthEast Y. In one corner there was Matt (I think that was his name). He was probably in his early twenties, looked like he lifted some weights and had a crew cut. In the other corner was Kevin. He was still in high school, and he had a kind of crazy longer hair style. It was basically about the hair. I voted Kevin, and my dad voted Matt. It wasn't a serious disagreement, but it is yet further proof that Rob Johnson was not the undoing of the family.

Also on that day in history:
ME: "I don't like backstroke, because I suck at it."
MY MOM: "What did you say?"
ME: "I suck at backstroke, so I don't like it."
MY MOM: "We don't say that word."
ME(underbreath): "Well, I do suck at it."
MY DAD: Chuckle

Southeast, Southeast, Southeast Y!!!

Bring Me My Monocle

I am, of course, at work.

At long last it is possible that I have found an apartment, which means that I can finally try and grow a goatee.

Also I just got gmail. Which obviously means I'm gcool.

In other news: I have watched Donnie Darko about 3 times since I last blogged. Doing that reminds me of The Fugitive;I don't really need to explain that. I also watched Silverado, Hidalgo, Tombstone, and Open Range. The best one of those was Open Range, which was B+ material.

Contrary to popular opinion, one of the more entertaining movies ever is The Fast and The Furious. Also contrary to popular opinion I do more than watch movies when I don't have work. I went on a hike yesterday, with the dog.

One Day Back When

Well, one day back when I had a little higher muscle to fat ratio my dad told me something. He said, "Son, I think its time we talked about your drug problem."

As we all know that did not happen, well, anything about the last statement. I did have a story to tell, but now that I'm at work I can't seem to remember it and its only 2:10 in the AM. It had to do with something my dad told me, but I just can't seem to remember.

I did see Hero starring Jet Li and his asian counterparts, or cohorts rather. It was a period piece, and a very artsy one at that, but in the end it was satisfying in a 'foriegn film' sort of way.

More importantly I saw Donnie Darko, and that is a great film, very bizarre, but more interesting than anything I've seen in the theatre in a long while, including Riddick which sucked. While I am speaking of films I would just like to say that while I still believe that most are a waste of my life, there are some which do stimulate intellectually, and possibly touch the funny bone, one such film is The Big Lebowski, another such film is not Aliens vs. Predator, which is truly a waste of a lot of people's time.

So in conclusion I wish I could remember that story, and I am glad that this page loaded tonite, because it didn't last night. Also, since I will not be at work for a couple of days there will be no blog for a couple of days.

Are you gellin?

I can't stand to be 'gellin'. In fact I will never buy those things because of the ridiculous nature of the advertisements. If Dr. Scholl thinks he can pander to me with some catchy cutsie stupid rhyming commercial he is definitely dumb. But I was thinking that bloggers could use the same type of advertising effectively, if properly written of course. Observe this specimen:

Our scene opens with two yuppie well dressed men who just got in a fender bender, but are in surprising good moods despite their obvious predicament.

They both say: "I'll write this down, when I'm bloggin'"

Upon hearing the other, they both smile winningly at each other.

The dark haired racially obscure man (dhrom) says, "Wow, I think I hit my noggin'" and rubs his head.

The light haired obviously white man(lhowm) says, "Did you do it when you were joggin'?"

dhrom: "No dumbhead, my cereal was soggin'
So I left to get some more egg noggin'.
But then you hit my stationwaggin'
Now I'm gonna give you a floggin'"

lhowm: "Whoa, now don't go doggin'
I was just leaving to go loggin'
But now, I'll get my shotggin'"

dhrom: "Hey, hey I was just playggin'
Let's go play some Froggin'"

lhown: "Then we can do some Bloggin'!!"

They both jump in the air with one hand toward the sky and then in mid air freeze frame, and add sound byte "BY MENNEN"

The End

Well there may be some plot holes, but you get the picture. I figure if it works for my brother the doctor Scholl, it'll work for anyone.

Movies For People Who Watch Movies

Working at nights gives one a peculiarly large amount of time to other stuff, but a distinct lack of energy to do any of it. Accordingly yesterday, I watched two movies during the day. The first was obviously Tombstone. The second was Igby Goes Down.

I don't know what to say about the Igby. It seems that it was inspired by The Catcher in the Rye, but given a modern twist and pull that seperated it from the book entirely. It is about a 17 year old boy who runs away from school after school, and finally finds a place in NYC with his 'godfather's' mistress. There he meets up with even more wierdness, and can't seem to get himself to a place he actually wants to be. The story is heart-breaking, but seemingly 'ends on a good note' for Igby. The characters are the type that make you wonder the whether people like them actually exist in the world, not because of the horrific nature of their actions, but because you can imagine that given the right circumstances a person like this might emerge, because the possibility of these characters is just outside the border of non-fiction, in the realm of the probable. The inter-relationship of all the characters is what makes the movie, not really just Igby.

In the end it is a sad, depressing story, that I wouldn't recommend to anyone because I don't want to be responsible for the awkwardness you have while watching this movie with someone's parents. It contains questionable material, and as we all know, "Its the question that drives us." That of course means that I know kung fu. And if you want to watch something depressing just watch all of the Matrix's and then remember when you had only seen the first one and thought about how cool it would be if they made sequels, that could land you in my office.

Has anyone else seen LadyHawke?

I watched Ladyhawke last night for the first time. Now I know that for some people this movie has achieved a certain status because they watched it as kids, but as an impartial viewer I have to rate it, "It's not to bad." By that I mean there were some good parts, and I was pleasantly surprised that I didn't think it was too dumb.
I also watched Tombstone. As I have seen it before I don't think I need to tell anyone that it is a good movie. I was surprised to see so many other actors that have been in other big movies in small parts in Tombstone. I guess that I dismissed some of the predictability of the movie because I already knew the story. The major flaw in the movie is the conversations with the actress. I find it hard to believe that a man like Wyatt Earp would be seduced by such 'high school' notions of "I just want to have fun for the rest of my life and order room service". Anyway, I like the movie, it was one Val Kilmer's best, except Top Secret, which by the way came out in 1984, and I had thought it was from the 70's this whole time.

The New Interactive Quiz I Just Took- Revised

Currently Reading?	The Good Earth
Currently Listening to?	Zwan
Currently Wearing?	no underwear
Are you George Glass?	possibly
Favorite Food?	anything with pasta and cheese sauce
Favorite Movie?	Make me a sergeant and gimme the booze
Favorite Harry Potter book?	the last one
Favorite Harry Potter Movie?	it hasn't come out
Did you like Lord of the Rings trilogy?	yes, especially the role of the Ring
Do you watch the Olympics?	only the commercials and bios
Favorite Comic Book?	Marville
What's your politcal party?	Undecided, but registered
Have you ever lived with in-laws?	Currently
Favorite TV show?	Northern Exposure
Favorite cartoon?	The Galactic Funny Pants Trio
Last phone call?	I left my phone at my sisters
Favorite computer game?	Diablo II
Last thing you ate?	Kettle Chips
Favorite Matrix movie?	The One
Do you read fan-fiction? (Be Honest)	If it appears on someone's blog to mock
Do you write fan-fiction?	no
Favorite snack cracker?	Cheez-It
Favorite song of all time?	2112
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

They Call Me The Working Man - Finally

It feels so good to finally get a pay check, from a job that I wll have for more than a day. I am discovering that my job is really cool, especially the night shift when everyone is asleep and I can read or something after I get my paperwork done. Now I know that I don't have unlimited free time while I'm at work, but I do get to read a good hundred pages most times. I also think that I get $1.oo extra an hour to work the shift. And my boss just offered me time and a half to work a weekend shift, as if I wouldn't do it anyway, and its a 12 hour shift. Maybe now I can afford to buy that box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoure Jelly Beans.

SSDD

This one time in Basic Training I saw something pretty funny. It was mainly funny because it wasn't happening to me, which is why a lot of things are funny in Basic Training.

So we were all lined up for lunch, as a company (about 200 men), and these guys from another company want to get in front of us. Of course they have to ask the Drill Sergeant if they can pass, so they meekly approach DS Sanders. They ask permission to go ahead of us because their company has already eaten and these guys were guarding weapons or something. DS Sanders looks at them and asks if the soldier means all of them, (there were about 5). The private answers "yes", DS Sanders then gets in face about letting other soldiers in front of his own, then he lines them up so they all face him. He walks up and down the short line a couple of times then stops and smiles back at us and says, "Watch this." Starting at the first soldier he yells, "Shut the !@#$ up!", and then moves on to the next soldier, "Shut the !@#$ up!", until he gets to the last soldier, the one who had asked in the first place and he says, "What do you think I'm going to say?" The obedient soldiers says, "Shut the !@#$ up." Just as he finishes the last word DS Sanders is in his face. "YOU TELLING ME TO SHUT UP!!! WHO THE !@#$ DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!!! I'M A DRILL SERGEANT!! YOU SHUT THE !@#$ UP!!!" and much more. It was really funny, and after we all stopped laughing he let them go eat in front of us.

Well that was all I could think of to write at the moment.

More Pics of WWF

There are new pictures of the WWF on his site. I just put them there, so tell all your friends.

Also I would like to annouce my official return to the Blog scene after my week long hiatus. I don't have much to say except that I have confirmed that kayaking is very fun and requires some more of my time.

In other news: Harry Potter will shortly be required to fund his own stay at the Hogwarts because of an alleged incident in the Ball Room with the lead pipe, or is the rope, or maybe!

Sisters Recommend/ Disney Hijinx

The last two books that I read were recommended me by my sister. I think that we are of an age that it is no longer requisite that I put whether she was my older or younger sister anymore. We are both, well we are all adults now. As I was saying, she recommended Frankenstein, and About A Boy, and both books were very good. The later is moving up my list of most enjoyable books I've ever read, and the former is "one ripping good yarn".

Also I am leaving in a couple of hours for the great outdoors, but I haven't packed yet, or eaten breakfast. While sitting this morning I realized that The Jungle Book might be the best Disney movie, or possibly Aladdin, but the songs are definitely better in The Jungle Book. The best song is the one that the monkeys sing about 'man's red fire', and when they start dancing I just loose it. It seems to me that it is an early, better version of the hakuna matata song in The Lion King. I don't know why I always correlate them, it might be the gibberish, or the jungle. Anyway, I have to take the 'secret of man's red fire' on my camping trip or I won't be able to eat the fish I catch. I think it will fit in my backpack.

Blog-O-Matic

Well, I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. A funny thing happened to me, I got a job. Now I'll have to change my profile and everything. So that's what I have been doing, instead of blogging. And now I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so there won't be any blogs for a while.

"In other news" I just wanted to say that because it seems like a popular thing to say today. As far as books go, I just finished About A Boy and it was really good. It was like watching tv, but so much better.

Well, I've got to go. I'll leave you with this. EAT MORE HOTDOGS!

Addendum to Frankenstein Blog

Why would he have thought his creation would have killed his family only by seeing it open his eye, even if his eye is yellow. Frankenstein says he takes care of all the little minute details of the body, one would expect that a creator who takes so much time with the creation would know the color of its eyes. So it is not unimaginable that he would at least stick around to see what it was going to do. Frankenstein was scared of the commitment to teaching and loving the monster the minute he realized that the monster lived. He abhorred the creature because of how it looked, and yet he created it. He never meant to stand by it, he created it knowing he would abandon it, but with no other reason that his own fear of loving it.

The Sausage King of Chicago

One of the many complaints I have about programming on TBS and a few other syndicated networks is the number of commercials interupting a perfectly good movie like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I happened to watch that last night, and there were so many commercials that a movie that is less than 2 hours normally took over 2 and a half to watch. And there was the added insult of having to watch repeated ads for Sex and the City.

On the brightside the movie was awesome. It was made even more enjoyable when I found out they were using the same dubbed version they played when I was a kid. So when Ferris is talking to the camera near the end about Cameron's love prospects, and concludes, "You can't respect someone who licks your boots." That is exactly what you hear even in our modern age when I'm sure they say similar things undubbed on the WB, and UPN, and ESPN, and MSNBC. Well you get the picture: it's nice somethings don't change.

Also I'd like to officially nominate Ferris Bueller's Day Off for, "Great (Now Older) Movie that if Remade Would Suck". I hope that puts to rest all of the Harry Potter/ Ferris Bueller spinoff talk I've hearing. And no Hermione does not end up with Cameron, or Charlie Sheen.

Potential Cause of Meloncholy

I regret to inform the world that after much deliberation, and after finishing the Stargate movie, I have decided to withhold my nomination for a good sci-fi movie. As I said yesterday, the beginning of the movie was interesting, but after I saw the psuedo-pharoah type of child I just couldn't really take it seriously. Actually it might have been the love-interest story that turned me off also, I mean they were only there for a couple of days, possibly only one day.

In the rest of the news I have also decided that I know nothing about the internet, and have outlived my usefulness as an "internet' junkie. I realized the only sites I ever look at are a select few blog sites, my email sites, google, and amazon.com. I also check out the onion every once in a while, but not lately. Oh yeah, and pollstar.com is a good site to find concert info. Oh, and there's a wild fandango loose in the theatre. Rar.

I've had a change of heart about Stargate

I know, I know, I've been saying it for years - there is no way I'll ever watch Stargate. At the moment I am watching it, well, it is paused for a couple of hours while my wife is at work, but here's the kicker, I kind of like it. Not in any Gladiator, or Saving Private Ryan way, but I've enjoyed it so far, but then again, what I have seen so far has been pretty much free of aliens. There is something about aliens that if they are done wrong they will end a movies usefulness.

Also I am reading About A Boy by Nick Rivers, I mean Hornby, and that is also surprisingly good. I do find that I read it (in my head, of course) in the best Hugh Grant voice my mind can do. I also decided that I wholly subscribe to using my time in half hour blocks.

YES, YES, Say it, He was my Boyfriend!!!

I will begin this book review with a memory of a book review not far in the past. It wasn't the first book review I was ever assigned, in fact I was in 8th grade at Mt. Gap Middle School in Huntsville, AL, and the assignment was an oral book report of a biography. I, somehow, decided by procrastinating that I was not going to do this book report. The day everyone else got up in front of the class to give theirs, I had nothing, and had to say in front of the class that I had not done it. Well, my teacher decided that I still had to do one,I suppose she called my mother, because one day not long after my book report was due my mother approached me and said, "Why didn't you do your book report?" I had no good reasons, so later that day we went to the library, and I checked out a book on Stonewall Jackson. I was to read it and have a book report done in a week or two. Anyway, of course I tried to read the book, but I didn't. I did, however, glean enough information to make up a book report, which I gave in front of the class on a day reserved exclusively for myself. I think I still got a B on the report. The moral is that if you are resourceful enough you can fake your way through anything. WAIT I mean the moral of course is not to procrastinate, so you won't have to look like a fool in front of your peers, and your mother.

I recently read Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. I enjoyed it. First because of the story. I was amazed at how the movies have butchered this book. I'm sure everyone thinks they know the story, but as I read I honestly didn't know how this book was going to end. There were so many unexpected moments, that added greatly to the plot, which is the strongest point of this book.

Second, I enjoyed the characters. The monster was the most interesting, and the most pitiable. I really didn't feel sorry Frankenstein and his endless lamenting. The monster's story ch 9-16 was the most fancinating part of the book. His story makes the interest in the book, and it was very well imagined. It even interested me in reading Paradise Lost which I have never before contemplated. The monster's intellect shines in his comparison of Adam and himself, and the real tragedy of the novel is that Frankenstein is too self-centered to see that what he has created is more than a body. My problems with Frankenstein I suspect have to do mainly with the writing style.

The writing was at best melodramatic. Frankenstein is always lamenting that he is the most wretched man alive, and the monster joins in the game. The end of the novel is like a contest. First Frankenstein tells Walton, "no creature had ever been so miserable as I was; so frightful an event is single in the history of man(175)." Quite an audacious statement, but the monster has the last lament when he exults, "No guilt, no mischief, no malignity, no misery, can be found comparible to mine(196)." The monster even says he was more miserable when he killed his creator's new wife, than Frankenstein when he saw his bride lifeless on the bed. Finally they stop arguing and the monster decides that the only sure way to be the most "miserable wretch" in the book is to burn himself alive. His description of this death is telling. "I shall ascend my funeral pile triumphantly and exult in the agony of torturing flames(198)." As I was reading I wondered if the writing was the style of the day, or just the author. I admit that some other works of that period are similarly prone to "Alas", but not to the extent of Frankenstein.

Now, I'm sure you are saying right now that this blog is getting a little bit long. Perhaps you are right. But I'm not done yet. I want to understand the reason why the creation of life engendered so much misery on all connected with it, consciously or unknowlingly. It has been submitted that Frankenstein and his monster are two halves of the same consciousness. One the intellect - the monster, and one the emotion - the dear Doctor, I am inclined to disbelieve this, for various reasons. The idea is not without merit however, and it leads me to the structure of responsiblity. Frankenstein, by creating, became a father, and in such he failed miserably. He is blind to his responsiblity towards his creature, his offspring. In the beginning of the novel he austentatiously states "a new species would bless me as its creator and source; many happy and excellent natures would owe their being to me. No father could claim the gratitude of his child so completely as I should deserve theirs(38-9)." He is fundamentally wrong is attitude towards his creation, and by this he is doomed to fail, and thus death.

When thus approached a relationship between intellect and emotion can be seen through the novel. Frankenstein, emotion, creates and intellect, the monster, destroys. Frankenstein is powerless against his creation once it has turned against him, because he gives the creature recourse to harm him through others, and is unwilling to repent of his mistake. Emotion is often the driving force for change in life, but it must be sustained by intellect, because emotion can not maintain itself without the intellect, witness Frankenstein's constant fatigue, and sickness; but intellect will not understand emotional motives unless taught. If intellect is decieved, or remains unnurtured it will return to the status quo because that is the logical place without proper understanding of emotional investment. In Frankenstein, the cost of an inproper relationship between the intellect and emotion is death for both creature, and creator. The monster, and Frankenstein fail to see the symbosis of their personalities, and their responsiblities to each other. However, it is the primarily the responibility of the creator to recognize this relationship, because as in Frankenstein, the creature is not mentally able to see this without help at first.

I just want to end with one quote, although I did really like the one I was shown before reading this book. This comes from Shelley's own Introduction.

"Invention, it must be humbly admitted, does not consistin creating out of void, but out of chaos; the materials must, in the first place, be afforded: it can give form to dark, shapeless substances but cannot bring into being the substance itself. ... Invention consists in the capacity of seizing on the capabilities of a subject and in the power of moulding and fashioning ideas suggested to it."

B+

The Willage

In Ukraine if you a Ukrainian trying to learn English and if you need to describe for someone where you live, and if that place is outside the city, you would say: "I libe n zee willage." So, I dedicate this post to Ukraine.

Which brings me to my next point: The Willage by M. Donnie Darko Shaman-man was surprising. Right before we went into the theatre I decided that I wasn't really expecting much, (which is the key to enjoying any movie these days), but what I got was a really good movie. I especially enjoyed the two main characters, and more especially the girl. I don't want to give it away about the indians, but the "mythical, mystical, ultra scary creatures" were a good controlled part of the movie. Having seen all of Mr Shaman-man's movies I now realize that his movies are never really horror movies. They are disguised as suspenseful, horror type movies but usually end up being a human interest story, and that is the more intriguing part anyway. The Willage was no different, much to the dismay of almost the whole audience who obviously went in expecting to be scared, and they were, but the got much more than that. For a 15 year old boy who sat behind me that was too much for him and he couldn't restrain his comments which just about got his ass kicked. And which did get my empty box of Reese's Pieces thrown at him, HAHAHA, he never knew.
Anyway, it was an engaging movie, I enjoyed the cast.

No blog, No problem

I noticed that nobody posted a new blog today. I wanted to ask, "What gives?". I guess no one had the time, and now here I am posting something because I have the time. Time is on my side. Just how much time do you think we have?
Anyway, all I want to say is that sometimes I really like to get up early, and sometimes I am just so tired thatI don't want to get up but I'm not really sleeping, I'm just laying there lamenting how tired I am. It's a Catch 22, sleep or no sleep. Because let's face it, sleeping is really just a waste of time. I mean besides resting your body, what else is it good for? All you do is lay there, and at the end you don't even remember anything but a bunch of jibberish dreams that don't mean anything. It's like I heard about movies, in the end you aren't doing anything but being inanimate.
Now the truth of the thing is that right now I'm dam tired, and I really want to sleep, but if I didn't have to I wouldn't. I would rather play video games, or read, or write, or just about anything. Think about how much we could get done if we didn't have to sleep.

Unemployment Is Best In Life

Most days I just feel kind of lazy.  I mean its 9:23 in the AM and I'm sitting in pajama pants in the kitchen typing a blog, what kind of life is that?  Fortunately my wife earns some money to support my lifestyle, but there are days when I remember that it was good to work.  Those are the days when I watch a couple of movies before 1 o'clock in the afternoon, and then get a headache from so much TV.  I enjoy just walking around the house too, it adds the illusion that someday I might do something. 
Of course, I play with the animals, because you can not feel guilty about being lazy while you are petting a cat, or watching the dog go to the bathroom.   What would that animal be doing without you?  YOU are useful.
The worst part of unemployment is the long afternoons, when you sit down to read a good book, or comic book, and fall asleep for a while.  Who knows how long, time is not really measured when you have no job.  Then its time to go pick up your wife from work, and when she asks you what you did today you can't really remember doing anything.  Its then that I think I'd be better off being "Food for wolve".

Custom Personality Test

Are you a robot?

If you answered yes, then from now on you must address the world thus:  "I, Robot, do declare yadda yadda yadda, and so forth."

If you answered no, then you must say:  "I, human, do desire a grilled cheese sandwich, or yoda yoda yoda, and etc and so on."

If everyone were so inclined to participate in this test there would be no need for the future.

In Retrospect

I remember this one time when I was younger my mom made pizza.  I think she wanted to give the sauce some flavor, so she added spices.  Unfortunately, the spices had some larger pieces in it.  I can't remember if I ate it or not, but I do remember calling the spices 'wood'.  I don't know why this makes me feel bad now.  I was just a kid, but I have a lot of memories of being a complete jackass when someone was trying to do something good for me.  I remember asking her the next time she was making pizza if she was going to put 'wood' on it this time. 

So speaking of pruning, I was pruning today for a couple of hours and I was thinking of all my experience pruning.  Then I remembered this one time when my little brother, bless his heart, was asked to prune the palm tree in our front yard in CA.  It was one of those miniature ones so even though he was young at the time he could still get to the fronds.  I don't remember seeing him do the actual work, but I remember driving up to the house and seeing a bald palm tree.  There wasn't a frond left.  Even now when someone says flat top I think of that tree.  On the flip side or the flip mode the tree lived, at least until we moved.   It actually made quite good progress, more than it was making with the fronds.  So Huzzah!

It's PEOPLE!!

I was just reminecsinthth about old times with the one of the cats that I live with.  (By cat I mean a real cat, not an unusually cool person).  It was brought up by the cat that although we all have seperate memories, there are events that everyone who is present remembers almost the same way.  So I brought up an example about my younger sister. 

"It was a humid southern afternoon, in Huntsville Alabama, in 1988.  We were gathered as a family around the kitchen table to enjoy some of my mother's excellent homecooking.  This day we were having sandwiches on delicious home-made bread, I don't remember what kind of sandwiches, its not really important, but I do know they wasn't any honey on them, or anything sticky for that matter.  Well, the story goes that as we were all eating these scruptous sandwiches, my brother, my other sister, and my youngest sister, and although I don't remember my parents being there, but I'm sure my mom was around the kitchen, something happened which the bread did not expect. 

There was a cry heard around the table.  We all looked around, shocked out of our pleasureful dining experience.  At first we thought it might have come from the neighbors house, but we soon realized that it originated with one of our own.  My youngest sister was in a crisis; tears, sobbing, mumbling strange words while chewing.  I don't know how long it took, but finally through her innane babble we we were able to decipher one thing, "Crumbly, my bread is crumbly."  Naturally, we were concerned and quickly looked at her bread, which if the truth be told, was crumbly.  We acted immediately to diffuse such a tense situation.  We called for our mother, and then much to our chagrin we began laughing, and laughing and laughing."

Now as I write this story it really isn't very funny, except to us I think, but oh well, it's a family story, and I want it passed down the generations.  And as I was saying about memories, I'm sure no one who was present would disagree that this is exactly what happened.

Winzip Unhip!

I have recently made inquiries into the 'hipness' of former essential program Winzip.  Unfortunately what I found kind of made me sick.  The facts of the matter are this Winzip is not hip enough to be included in the manufacturer edition of Windows.  What I mean by that, for those of you who can tell I don't know what I'm talking about, is that Winzip is not on this computer.  That means I can not possibly upload any large video of files of baby W.W.F..  I am sorry, and I send my regards, and I am duly concerned, lastly, sincerely.  Frumix, Thanx

New Pictures Of WWF

There are new pictures of W.W.F. on his website.  I wish I could put up the bigger movie files.  If I knew anything about how a computer actually works I could probably split the files into to little ones.  Or, wait a minute, I could try and zip them up.  Does anyone use Winzip anymore?  Probably not, now with our 200 gig hard drives and all.  Well, I'll see if I can do that. 
Over.

Unique Recipes for those who despite their best efforts remain poor

The secret to any meal is to have Macaroni & Cheese as a major part.  Of course it is common knowledge that no meal is complete without hotdogs.  These are the prime directives of cooking.  In accordance with these statements I have formulated the following recipe. 

1 batch Macaroni & Cheese (any brand or recipe will work)
Several cut up hotdogs

Mix cut up hotdogs into Macaroni & Cheese.  It is not neccessary to cook the hotdogs, but it is recommended for those unaccustomed to eating them plain or frozen.  After mixing for as long as desired, enjoy.  This dish delecious when served with chilled grape juice, and sour cream and onion potato chips.

This recipe may prove difficult if the preparer makes it to fancy, and no ketchup should be added at anytime while preparing or consuming this meal.

First Interview for a "Real" Job

Well, I feel like I've arrived.  Today I had an interview for a job with a salary, not an hourly wage.  Sadly, I will never get the job, because I'm really not qualified for it.  In fact I sent them the resume with the same hopefullness as some who puts green bottles into the ocean with rescue notes in them.  Anyway, the interview went well, and I guess there is still a possibility that I could get the job, I don't think I have enough experience working with lab equipment. 

So, the job would be as a quality control supervisor.  It would be a great job actually, doing mainly supervision and employee issue stuff, but also doing some lab work.  There would be benefits and a decent salary.  Well, I hope get it.

Finally proof my wife is an elf

Lord of the Rings!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by

Hello poppet! Savvy

Pirates of the Caribbean!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by

I'm a pirate. 

W.W.F.

I just want the world to know that I think it is really cool that my new nephew has the initials W.W.F.. 

Baby boy and movies

So in other news my sister had a baby boy this Sunday at 9:40 in the AM.  He is quite the cute guy at the moment, but will soon turn into a handsome devil.  Almost as exciting as holding my new nephew was the movie retinue I endured while waiting up all night for him to be born. 

At 3AM we had Multiplicity, an ever-so-wacky, but funny adventure in AI, and cloning, starring resident funny man Micheal Keaton as himself, or that other guy he plays sometimes, and Andie McDowell, who's best movie is still Groundhog Day. 

Then at 5AM we were entertained by some movie with Danny Devito, and Marc Wahlberg.  i really don't even know the title of the movie, but it chronicled the hilarious, but finally touching mis-adventures of a 'teacher' at Army Basic Training as he tries to teach some just stupid recruits about Hamlet, and how this one thing changes not only their lives, but exposes the audience to some long moments of Danny Devito smiling like a proud father. 

The last movie at 7AM was actually a good movie, Back to the Future.  I remember I saw that movie 3 times in the theatre when it came out in 4th grade.  This I told to one of my 'friends' Anthony DeMartin, and he laughed at me and thought I was lieing.  Then he told everyone I was lieing and that I had never seen it, and so I wasn't cool.  That sucked.  That guy was a prick.  Oh yeah, the movie, well as everyone knows it is very good, and if I hadn't been asleep during most of it, I would have enjoyed it.

Well, that about wraps it up for me here, back to you Paula Zahn, and your CNN cohorts.

The adventures of Plastic-Manufacturer Man

So, I finally got a job and so I could be just like my brother, I made it a temp job.  Unfortunately mine doesn't pay as well as his, and it's not filled with as much time to blog, or a desk, or anything cool for that matter.  I'm in plastics now, well I was today.  Just some things I wanted to share with everyone who is not in.  (Plastics I mean.)  The number one rule is:  when the plastic first comes out of the machine it is hot and bendy so don't touch it right away, or OUCHY.  Next:  People in plastics never smile at each other.  I realized this when an asian girl walked past me to grab a chair, and I smiled because she was invading my work area and she didn't do anything.  I thought it might have been because I was the 'new temp' but then I realized that nobody had said anything to me the whole time I'd been there.  The third rule of plastics is: that you should find out how much you are going to make while working at a temp job because you just might be making $6.50 an hour and not even know it. 

Well, in other parts of the plastic business, I got help with injection mold plastic manufacturing.  I say helping because of the last sentence of the former paragraph, and I really can't call that legitimate work.  It was pretty interesting at first, I got to scrap off the little pieces of plastic left on the molds of cup holders.  Then I got to put the cup holders in a box.  Then I got to do again,... and again.  Then I got to that same thing all day long.  It might seem boring, but plastic is fun.  It's kind of like metal, and thought brought me back to my metal collecting days.  Ah metal, mmm metal, a stick of metal.

 

Cheese Personnel

So once again I found myself at the temp agency, actually it was the first time, but I did find myself thinking "wow, what a shady sort of organization."  I don't know what it was, but I got the feeling that I was signing on with the russian mob.  Really, it was just the guy I was working with, the guy who graded my math "test", he had an eastern european accent, and gave me the willies.
Anyway, first he asked me what kind of industry I was looking for and I said health-care.  He basically thought  I should have left right then, but I persisted and said, "Well what do you have?"  "PRRoduction."  I said that would be fine, and I filled out the rest of the application.  When I finished, he looked up some jobs that fit with my profile and found one for Monday at Gossner Foods.  As you, who have lived in Utah, know it is a dairy producing company, and since I have only seen their label on cheese in the grocery store, I was left to conclude that they are a cheese manufacturer.  This all makes sense too, me with a background in cheese, and all.  They must need a cheese taster.  I told him that I once spent an exorbitant amount of money on cheese and he put his fingers together and said, "Excellent".  I don't know what that meant, but it must good.

Beanpole

Can any of you believe I used to call someone 'Beanpole', and that he was my best friend?  Well it just goes to show that you can use a word without knowing the meaning for a long time.  Then we started to call him 'Bean'.  I think that middle school is the time for nicknames, and college too, I guess.  I had another friend we called 'Cheesy', I don't really know why except that we all thought it was pretty funny.  His real name was Kenneth, so I don't know how we got 'Cheesy' out of that. 

Finally an interview

So for those of you who haven't read my personal profile, I am currently working for a non-profit individual. Anyway, I had an interview this morning and it went well, I think. I feel I am qualified for the position of glorified cook. And for $9/hour I can probably handle it. The location is scenic, with horses, and bees, and horses with bees coming out their mouths, it was idyllic. I can expect a call on Monday, for a possible start next week, so I am hopeful.

Long-awaited and much anticipated financial plan pointers, and ideas

After much deliberation, I have decided to release my patented "Wealth Manufacturing Plan" to the public. At first I was skeptical as to whether it would be well recieved, and to be frank, comprehended by the ignorant masses. As I said, however, "After much deliberation" I have put it all onto one blog, for one time only which can be read in about 2 minutes if you hurry, but only one time.

So here it is in one catchy, snappy, easy-to-remember, and fun-filled catch phrase - if you have it spend it(by it I mean $, or money). Now that may sound simplistic, so let's get down to brass tacks. What I mean exactly is if you have $20 spend it, and do it all in one day. If you will do this for more than two weeks, not only will you be out of about $300, but you will own a bunch of new crap, and you will probably have seen some new crappy movies too.

Now once again you are questioning, "What the hell kind of finicial advise is this?"
Let me answer that by saying "the soundest kind". You see I believe that if you spend $20 a day you won't spend anymore than that, and that means you will have saved all the money but the $20 you spent that day.
Well that's the jist of it, if you have any questions please direct them to www.freewebs.com/summerofmonkeys .
Oh one other thing, if you need something to spend your $20 on, try spending it all on cheese, its fabulous.

Patent pending.

At the end of the day there are only movies left

So if you are still reading this trash, I would recommend stopping because I don't have anything "good" to say. I am just waiting for my wife to get off work. I thought I would discuss the recent political activity so rampant in society these days. Politics isn't interesting though, so I thought I'd write about movies. Once I had a roommate that said something profound. He said, "Everyone likes movies." And its that simple. I also had a professor at my nefarious college say about movies that "in the end you are just sitting there for two hours".

Now much to the chagrin of some, I must admit that the movie media is way out hand. I believe that have adopted the philosophy of greed, and quantity not quality. Unfortunately, so have the movie-going audiences, how can crappy movies keep making money. This also is simple. Crappy people pay to see them. Now, you may be saying that is kind of harsh. I say flippity-flops! Some one needs to let Hollywood, or Bollywood know that we won't stand for some Gladiator rip-off, or even 20 of them. We liked the first one and that is all we need, now come up with something else quality or don't talk to me.

I am coming to understand why my dad likes to watch old movies, and it is because all the new ones suck. Now I realize that I am starting to watch 'old' movies because all the new ones suck. I probably see 5 good movies a year, if that. In fact last year I only saw a couple: Return of the King, Master and Commander, The Big Lebowski, Orange County, and well there it is. At least I can't think of anymore right now, and you're right I'll probably think of a couple more and have to correct myself and look the fool. Oh well.

The point is with so many movies being made how come they can't make a couple more quality pieces.

Nothing clever here

Well, I just had an "eye-opener" (meaning I had my eyes pealed). Anyway, I read some other blogs, quote-unquote "professionals", I surmise, and the conclusion I came to was that my blog sucks. I don't have any cool recipes for jamaican clover tarts, or any friends with exotic rug emporiums, or bum leg, or pointed, yet funny, critic of the 1990's, or anything, anything at that is clever. I saw a site that makes you chase the white rabbit, and type stuff in like you are in the Matrix. I just learned that "the internet" is not a place, but a collection of computers that talk to each other in a language called binary, or something like that. In fact I think it might not be binary anymore, now that the internet is so big, I think, well I heard, that its binary with a southern drawl, or a little local color thrown in to win an academy award.
Well, that's all I have to say. Except that if your reading this let me tell that you could be reading something much better. So do it just go on googly and type something you heard on That's So Raven and you'll find something that will blow the blog out of your mind. Go ahead, do it. Come on, do it. Just do it.



It's the question that drives us.

The Stranger by Albert Camus

I just finished this book, it only took two days to read (it's only 129 pages long). It is about Meursault, a Frenchman living in Algeria. he seems to be in his mid-to-late twenties, single, and working at a job he neither loves nor hates. That is the crux of the story he neither loves nor hates anything; he approaches everything with disinterest. This makes him an honest character in that he only sees what is there, without embelishment. Unfortunately, it also allows his environment to dictate his actions.

The story begins with his mothers death. At the funeral he is distracted by how tired he is, and so he doesn't cry. After the funeral he meets Marie, who he gets engaged to, and Raymond, a new friend. Through Raymond, he becomes entangled in a messy domestic crime, which ends on the beach with Meursault shooting a man who had drawn a knife on him, shooting him mainly because it was so hot, and the sun was shining in his eyes.

The rest of the story is about the trial, and its effects on someone who has no priority in their view of the world. Camus says he wrote it to examine "the nakedness of man when confronted with the absurd", but it seemed to me more about describing an absurd man. Meursault finally finds freedom in disinterest, his own disinterest in the world, and the world's disinterest in him. It is this relationship that allows him to feel happy, probably by allowing him to focus all of his mind on himself.

Overall I liked it.

came with the frame

So here I sit wondering about things. "Good Morning", I say, "Can I get you the paper?". "Fine weather we're having, don't you think sir." Well, I was just watching a movie and it was actually good, which somewhat of a novelty thwse days considering. It was the Usual Suspects, and I would recommend it to anyone who likes swearing, and a really good plot. And killing.

A good movie, but the real action is in my life. It all started a couple of weeks ago when I went in to Borders- (Books and Coffee), to see what was happening, and to pick my wife up from work, (she works at Borders). Well she wasn't quite ready to go, she was busy mixing a yummy orange mocha frapacino. So as I was wandering around I got the urge to use the bathroom. I walked towards the back of the store, and saw the metal detector things and took a quick left and then another left into the restroom. When I opened the door I was taken aback to see a woman in the restroom I was entering. Thinking perhaps she was the cleaning person, or somehow in the wrong I said "Excuse me", and kept looking at her, until I felt inclined to state as a question, "This is the women's restroom?". A quick nod and I was gone, into the opposite door, the right door which was labelled "MEN".

So now we come to this day, when once again as I was wandering around Borders, I felt the urge to utilize the restroom. So I walked back towards the back of the store, saw the 'loss-prevention' devices, took a left, then another quick left, and strolled into an empty restroom, where I noticed as I passed in a hurry, that there were an inordinate number of stalls for a men's restroom. Alas, I had no time dwell on that thought, as I made use of one the stalls. I washed my hands, and pulled the door open just as another person was pushing on it. Another person, who looked at me rather strangely, then quickly looked at the sign beside the door that said "WOMEN".

Of course, I said excuse me, then just hoped she thought I was the cleaning person in kakhi's with a cuff and crease.

My only brother doesn't even tell me about his new web page

So now you know I only have one brother", well that's what I thought until I saw the Matrix when my mind was freed. "But" back to the point- my brother has a blog and I didn't even know about it. So it kind of hurts, but "its getting better". I tried to "post a comment" on his blog page, but it " " ended up making me create my own webpage, (which if the internet knew, is not a good idea, because the last 'page' I made "sucked" royally). Which brings us to here, to the point when you think you know somebody, and then you find out they've been blogging without you, and you just cry and cry until your in-laws think your crazy. Oh well, I'll heal, just like that cool guy from the X-Men with the metal fingernails or something, he's cool.